This Mortal Coil
by Piper Sargasso
Rating: NC-17
Keywords: MSR, AU of sorts
Spoilers: None
Disclaimer: Recognizable characters within belong to 1013
productions. No infringement intended.
Summary: “What does this mean?” “It’s exactly what it
looks like, Scully. This is why I don’t want you to find
me.” “A vampire,” I whispered, stunned and disbelieving.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
October 23, 1997
2:11 am
I was running, faster and further than I ever had before,
through the woods, shrouded by a darkness even the moon
wouldn’t touch.
The idea of outrunning them was ridiculous, to say the
least. They knew exactly where I was at every moment. They
always would – from now until eternity.
The wind tore through my hair, ripping my lungs in two.
How could I have been so stupid? My mind flashed,
unbidden, to the hour before. The six of them, dressed in
all black as they knelt in a semi-circle around me. The
one called Julian holding me in his luminous green gaze,
paralyzed and helpless to ward him off as he bent to latch
onto my wrist.
The worst part was – I didn’t want to stop him. The lure
of life everlasting and all the freedom it brought was far
too tempting. Never once did the consequences cross my
mind.
Scully.
The thought of not ever seeing her again tore at my heart.
She could never see me, never know the monster that I’d
become. She wasn’t even safe in my presence anymore.
I slowed to a stop as the burning in my dry veins coursed
through me. My knowledge of The Gift was very little, but
the crippling gnaw of my stomach, bending me over in pain,
instinctively told me what Julian didn’t have to …
It was time to feed.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Hoover Building
October 23, 1997
11:24 am
The news from Skinner was bleak, as was the expression on
his face when he told me that Mulder was still missing. I
felt sick. Not only sick, but – lost, somehow. Deep inside
of me, there was an emptiness that I couldn’t explain. It
drowned out even the fear and anxiety over my partner’s
last disappearing act.
I knew something was different this time.
Skinner’s hand on mine and a quiet, but heartfelt, “We’ll
find him, Agent.” I didn’t believe him. I’d never felt
this before, but I sensed there was no inexplicable return
for Mulder this time, no miracle to bring him back to us.
None of these things that had made everything okay before,
after all of Albert Hosteen’s help.
A strange numbness overcame me as I realized the truth,
obvious only to me.
Mulder was dead.
I somehow made it to the basement office. A heavy blanket
of acceptance laid claim to me and I looked around at my
settings. Files, hundreds of them and every one important
as life to Mulder, sat in piles all around. Filing
cabinets, chairs, tables and shelves held them in the
ready, awaiting the day that someone would rescue them
from obscurity and knock off the dust with page-turning
fingers. His desk, a haven for lost paperwork and
forgotten sunflower seed husks, with the evidence of his
boredom above it, mere holes in the ceiling.
Someday, some unlucky agent was going to walk in here and
wonder what the hell he’d done to deserve this assignment.
Maybe he’d come up with interesting stories of how those
holes got to be there, when things were slow and he needed
to fill the time. Maybe he’d think, if only in passing, of
the man who’d occupied this chair before him, analyzing
the surroundings created by the infamous Spooky Mulder.
He’d wonder what drove him, what compelled him to be
locked away in the bowels of the Hoover Building with the
dark and crawling things, even as the job slowly sucked
him in, as it did me. Maybe, just maybe, he’d wake up one
day and realize that the X-Files had become his life.
He’ll forget what life was all about before.
He’d never know Mulder. He’d never figure out the man
who’d hung the ridiculous UFO poster near his desk or left
slides scattered out in some mad method of organization
only he knew the reason to.
I wanted to protect Mulder from this exposure. I wanted to
pack all his things and move them into my spare bedroom,
set up a shrine where he’d always live. To me, he always
will.
I rose to grab an empty copy-paper box. They wouldn’t have
anything left to analyze once I got through. I gathered
the most important items; the picture of Samantha, his
personal notes in the top desk drawer, snapshots of us on
cases, taken by crime photographers. I never heard the
door open as I carefully took the poster down from the
wall to add it to the top of the nearly full box.
“Scully.” Skinner’s voice sliced through the dead silence
of the room. He took hold of my arms and turned me to face
him. “Scully, you can’t do this.”
I looked at him blankly, not comprehending the words he
spoke.
His eyes softened and tears that would not fall gathered
there. He was no stronger than I. “Dana,” he said gently,
“you have to leave all this here. There’s an
investigation. It’s evidence.”
I refused to register the pained expression on his face,
that he suspected the worst, too. I couldn’t bring myself
to care about his sadness or the pain Mrs. Mulder would
feel once she knew the same truth I knew without a doubt.
I couldn’t feel anything for anyone else; not when the
miserable ache overpowered my strange resolve and one word
echoed in my head, over and over, like the beat of a
techno song:
Evidence.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
October 23, 1997
2:36 am
I saw it, about forty yards ahead. It came into my view
even before the moon peeked out from the behind the
ghostly clouds that surrounded the orb to reveal itself to
me. A house, dark and dilapidated, stood silent as a
sentry guarding its post. I walked as if on air, over the
stairs and across the threshold. Inside, the place was
remarkably untouched. It was likely too far out for
transients and forgotten by anyone who may have once lived
nearby. White sheets covered the furniture and wall
hangings, protecting them from the dust settling from a
time long gone.
I jerked one off a long object in front of the fireplace,
hoping it was a couch and pleased to find that it was. The
cloud of dirt and dust that came from the sheet rose in
the air from the sudden intrusion, enough to send a flurry
of particles in front of me, had no affect on my newly
strengthened lungs.
I lowered myself down on the couch. It was strange, but I
could feel every inch of my body dance with grace. Every
action, no matter how clumsy before, was elegant. I’d
already grown accustomed to carrying myself with poise –
it came so naturally and with no thought or effort.
Time was different. Instead of the passing of hours, the
night passed with tiny moments. Even the night was
changed, the gift bringing a luminescent glow to it. The
world looked and felt and smelled alive.
I sat and pondered this, my belly full and veins rushing
with the blood of a deer I’d fed on earlier. It was
frightening – the speed and deftness of the action.
Effortless. It was as if I’d done it before.
Sated and bewitched, I allowed my thoughts to drift.
As always, they drifted to home – to Scully. There was
nothing in the world that didn’t hold a fascinating desire
for me now. I was like a kid in a toy store – I wanted to
touch and feel everything I laid eyes on. But none of it
was worth anything without her.
And she never knew, couldn’t ever find out what she meant
to me. What she still means to me. She’s an angel, one of
God’s creatures. Angels can’t love the fallen.
I wanted to cry, to weep into the night and curse at the
sky for my misguided choices. I wanted to, but couldn’t.
Vampires can’t cry.
Sunrise has a sound. It crackles softly, warning of its
arrival. Instinctively, I felt its warmth through the roof
and walls of the house even as the whisper of the sun made
its way to my highly sensitized ears. I had to take
shelter and fast. It would be here in about five minutes.
In moments, I found the door to the cellar. It would be a
suitable refuge from the sun’s deadly rays. I crawled into
the furthest corner and curled up into a tight ball,
willing myself not to think about Scully.
Merciful darkness claimed me.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Dana Scully’s Apartment
October 23, 1997
3:57 pm
Skinner was still here.
I could hear him bustling around in the kitchen as I
rubbed the blurriness out of my swollen eyes. My head
pounded and the back of my throat felt numb, as numb as my
heart and half as broken. Even my ears felt like they’d
been stuffed with cotton.
I couldn’t remember the last time I’d felt this way, but I
vaguely recalled the scene in the office; Skinner, holding
me off the ground in an awkward embrace as I screamed and
cried and pummeled him with my fists. All my fury – at
Mulder, at life – was directed toward him.
I remember walking like a zombie to his car after I’d
cried myself out, feeling nothing. Expressionless, void of
emotion. I wanted to feel like that forever. I never
wanted to care that Mulder was dead, or even bother to ask
myself why I thought he was, regardless of lack of proof.
For now, I just needed to roll back over and drown the
rest of the world out. None of it mattered anymore anyway.
The large, red digits of the alarm clock read 4:00 pm,
which meant that I had slept through half of the workday.
The rustling of a trashcan liner was the last sound I
heard before drifting into a deep, dreamless sleep.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
October 23, 1997
4:16 pm
I was running through the forest again, so fast my feet
never seemed to touch the ground. She was like a beacon in
the night, guiding me to the shore safely, saving me from
myself with her righteous glow.
“Scully.” I heard myself wail out, a pitiful sound that
was foreign to my ears.
I could see her running just ahead, out of reach. Always
out of my reach. Sorrow wracked my body with the power of
my unshed tears. The scene shifted, and suddenly, I was in
her bedroom. Tossing restlessly atop the comforter was
Scully. She looked troubled, frowning in her sleep. A tiny
moan escaped her lips.
“Mulder.”
Then, we were back in the forest, only this time she was
no longer running from me. The trees created a canopy
above us, enshrouding us in dark sanctuary.
She floated angelically just slightly above the ground,
never sullying her purity with the dirt of the forest
floor. “What is this place?” she asked with wonder as she
stood before me and looked around.
“I don’t know,” I answered. “You brought us here.”
She seemed confused by that. I raised my hand to lightly
stroke her cheek. Her skin shone with an inner light and I
expected it to feel like marble, cold and unyielding. But
it was soft. Delicate. Just as I’d always pictured it.
She leaned into my touch. “Mulder, you’re dead. You left
me here all alone.” Tears shone in her eyes. They sparkled
in the light of the moon.
Shaking my head softly, I answered, “No, Scully. You’re
wrong.”
She didn’t answer, didn’t pull back from me. We suddenly
found ourselves in a cemetery. Impossibly, it held the
headstones of all the loved ones we had lost. Her father,
Melissa, Dad. A tiny stone marked Emily’s grave. To the
left, another stood with a cherub statue holding a
pitcher. Samantha’s name was emblazoned on the front.
She took my hand and we walked amongst the dead, quiet and
respectful. She led me to the last in the row, next to my
sister’s. On it, the name Fox Mulder was engraved. Date of
birth, month and year of death.
She pointed to it.
“See?” she asked.
I nodded that I understood. As with Samantha, she thought
I was dead. I pulled her small body into my arms and
looked into her eyes. If only for a fleeting moment, she
needed to know the truth.
“Don’t believe it, Scully. I’m not dead – not the way you
think.”
An invisible gust of wind swirled around us. It was
disorienting, blinding me with its force as I felt myself
being separated from Scully.
The next thing I felt was the cold floor of the cellar
beneath my cheek.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Dana Scully’s Apartment
October 23, 1997
7:05 pm
I woke with a start.
It had been so vivid, so real I imagined I could still
feel his hot breath upon my face and the smell of pine in
my hair.
“I’m not dead – not the way you think.”
I never would have believed or trusted it, if it weren’t
for the feeling of deja vu that plagued me. I recalled a
similar dream, not so very long ago. We’d found him then.
Maybe we’d find him now.
I wasn’t even sure I was meant to remember the dream, but
I did and I felt a renewed sense of hope, no matter how
small and dull.
7:06 pm.
I felt disoriented and out of touch with the rest of the
world, like Sleeping Beauty after the curse was broken.
Skinner was gone. Lazily shuffled steps into the living
room confirmed this. I wondered how long he’d stuck
around. A trip to the espresso machine in the kitchen told
of how he’d passed the time. A coffee cup in the sink and
a fresh trashcan liner, along with the TV remote out of
place were the only evidence of his presence in my
apartment.
I poured the dark brew into the sink, watching the steam
as it rose from the drain. There was no way I was going to
be able to go back to sleep – not after that.
Tossing on the clothes I wore earlier, I headed for
Mulder’s apartment.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
October 23, 1997
7:05 pm
I was not alone.
Against the far wall, leaned Julian. It was incredible,
the way I could see his dark hair curling slightly around
his angelic face, the strong line of his jaw – all without
the aid of light. He exuded an air of superiority, a
clashing contrast with his Michelangelo body.
His smirk was pissing me off.
“How long have you been standing there?” I demanded.
A soft chortle, then, “Long enough, my friend. Did you
think I wouldn’t find you?”
I could feel my eyes narrow. I’d known Julian for less
than a week, but already I knew his penchant for playing
games. He’d let me go on purpose, allowing me to think
that I’d escaped him, escaped his colony of fiends. But
I’d known from the beginning that he’d marked me for his
own and I would never escape him.
“Leave me here. I need time.”
He shook his head as if placating a willful child,
crossing the room to stand before me in the blink of an
eye. Just as quickly, his hand reached to stroke my face.
“Your place is with me, Fox. Not here, in this rat-
infested hole, dreaming about that woman.”
I jerked out of his repulsive caress. “Don’t call me Fox,”
I spat between clenched teeth, glaring at him as the blood
of the slain doe rushed and swirled violently in my ears.
I hated this man. If it were the last thing I do – if it
were to destroy me, I would find a way to kill him.
A flash of emerald fury passed over his eyes, then he
smiled indulgently. “Ah, but you are like the fox. You are
a predator, stalking the night for your prey. It’s why I
reached into that beautiful and complex heart of yours and
plucked you from mediocrity. I sensed your true nature,
Fox. Beautiful and deadly and free. It’s why I chose you
for my own.”
“I want no part of it, Julian. Hunting the helpless,
resorting to preying on people’s emotions – I won’t do
it.”
The smirk on his face faded. “You should’ve thought of
that before, my friend.” He crossed the cellar to stand at
the foot of the stairs, the movement too fast to be
detected by the human eye. The arrogant smirk returned.
“You have one week, Fox. Live here in squalor, if you
like.” His eyebrow rose as he looked around at my
accommodations, dramatically sweeping his hand at the
scene. “Do what is necessary to adjust. I’ll be here to
collect you when your time is up.”
I glared at him in defiance, to which he only grinned
wider.
“Do not upset either of us by trying to run; you know I’ll
find you, no matter where you are. I made you, Fox. I can
smell you.”
Without warning, he was gone.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Fox Mulder’s Apartment
October 23, 1997
8:34 pm
The search started out with a dim optimism; me, with the
faint glimmer of hope feeding my anxiety. He was out
there, somewhere, alive. The answer was lying under my
nose – I could feel it. I had only to uncover it.
I spent the rest of that night in Mulder’s apartment,
searching for something, anything that had been overlooked
by the investigating agents earlier. I frowned to see the
same careless job executed in his home as I would later
see in his office. His computer was missing, as were some
of his papers. My search yielded no results. That is,
until my eyes locked on the blank notebook pad lying on
the kitchen table.
Mulder presses hard when he writes. Using the grade-school
detective technique of rubbing a pencil lightly over the
indentions, I was able to reveal a page of notes. It
appeared he was profiling a vampire cult, one that he’d
never bothered to tell me about. I cursed him for taking
off without me again and getting himself into trouble.
There was no address or indicator of the location of any
kind. Just seemingly random words on a piece of paper,
spelling out his unconventional thoughts. It read like the
synopsis for a Dracula B-movie.
I studied the paper, almost willing it to explain itself
to me. Finally, when my eyes were so strained and my
vision became too blurry to concentrate, I sat the
notebook down and curled up on Mulder’s couch. The faint
scent of him that lingered on the pillow and throw were
comforting in an odd way.
Silently, I hoped to see him in my dreams.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
October 23, 1997
7:29 pm
I stared at the base of the steps where Julian had just
been, feeling a sense of dread like I’d never known before
come over me.
One week.
One week was all I had left, and then I would be his
property. One week until I would become a fiend like him
and his pack of fledgling groupies. Seven precious nights
until I would be systematically stripped of any lingering
humanity I might possess.
I had to get out of there.
By scent alone, I was able to find a small lake, hidden by
a dense copse of trees in the woods. The hunger welled up
inside me, but was manageable for the time being. I was
drawn by the radiant power of the full moon, feeling for
the first time, its pull. It was like the gravitational
pull of the ocean, tugging at you as the water draws in
for another wave when you stand at the edge. Only I felt
it constantly.
I sat on the shore, marveling at the sounds of nature.
Frogs and owls, wolves and crickets – all singing in
perfect harmony, each voice complimenting the next. I’d
never heard it so clearly before. It was amazing.
I wished that Scully could be with me. She would love
being surrounded by all this, with nothing threatening our
lives to mar the experience. I wanted to hold her like I
never could in life, kiss her under the stars. Would she
hate me? Would she be disgusted by what I’d become? Scully
was raised Catholic and her beliefs ran deep and strong.
She would know I was damned. How could she love something
that wasn’t even a man anymore?
A rustle in the brush snapped me into reality. Another
deer. I supposed I could wipe out an entire herd, if I
wanted to. The thought sickened me. I had it in me to play
God. Imagining that power was terrifying, especially when
I thought of Julian and his gang of savages.
I pounced on the large buck before he even had time to
react, filling my veins with his rich and tangy blood. As
long as I sustained myself on the blood of animals, I
would be okay. There was no need to take a human life.
Jesus, I wish I never came here.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Hoover Building
October 24, 1997
9:12
The next morning, I went through the motions, careful not
to let my thoughts become too hopeful or my expression to
become too hopeless. There was a balance between the two
that I knew I must maintain, even as I wondered just who
it was I was trying to fool.
Only one person interrupted my solitude and that was
Skinner, demanding to know why I was at work. I put on my
best “piss off” face and calmly informed him of my desire
to be included in the investigative team on Mulder’s case.
He grumbled about personal involvement, to which I
countered by ticking off all the previous cases where I
was personally invested. There was no way in hell I was
going to be left out in the cold on this one; I knew it,
he knew it.
A silent standoff, then the nod of his head and he was
gone, leaving me in peace.
The poster was back in its place, behind me on the wall.
All around me, files and papers were in disarray, the
handiwork of a virtual tossing by agents on the case with
as much class and finesse as a second-rate thug. I went
about the room, putting things back in the preordained
order Mulder liked, silently wondering if I’d ever be able
to find files in a normal office setting again. Our method
had come to make a sort of sense to me
I looked at my watch. 9:30. The team assigned to
investigate Mulder’s disappearance would be convening now.
Glancing down at the bagged notebook pad, I wondered what
the boys upstairs would make of it. Doubtful they’d even
understand it. I smiled ruefully at that and left the
room, shutting the door tightly behind me. The brisk walk
to the conference room did little to clear my head of the
jumbled thoughts running through it.
Kimberly stopped her stride to give me an understanding
smile, one of those tight-lipped ones that always
accompany a tilt of the head and an almost pained
expression. I ignored it and nodded politely in greeting,
passing by her to enter the room she’d just left.
Six agents sat in chairs around the conference desk.
Skinner looked up in surprise and the room fell silent. He
quickly walked over to my side, grasping my elbow in his
hand.
“Scully, what are you doing here?”
I pulled myself up to my height’s fullest potential,
staring up into his face and replied, “I’m a part of this
investigation, Sir, and I expect to be at every one of
these meetings.”
He pulled me toward the door, out of the other agents’
earshot and lowered his voice. “I want you to go home and
rest. You can return tomorrow.”
I shook my head vehemently. “No, Sir. This is where I need
to be.”
His eyes bore into mine, brooking no argument from me even
as I tried to stand my ground.
“Where you need to be, Agent, is at home. You’re a mess,
Scully, and you’re no use to me this way. Go home and get
some sleep. That’s an order.”
I shoved the rubbing into his hand. “Here. You make sense
of this.” I spat, then walked out the door without so much
as a backward glance. I was too angry to care what he
thought of my behavior. The time for bullshit was over. If
Mulder was going to be found, it was going to have to be
by me.
I climbed into my car, copy of the rubbing in my
briefcase, and looked at the side mirror out of habit.
Skinner was right; I looked a mess. My eyes were swollen
and bloodshot with dark rings giving a bruised color to
the puffiness that clung beneath them in semi-circles. My
skin looked paler than usual, devoid of the healthy color
it once had. I traced a finger slowly over my features,
not recognizing myself.
Mulder would be found. He had to be.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
It was a quiet lake, smoothed over from the absence of
wind. He was standing there, hands in his pockets as he
stared out at the tranquil water. The stars hovered above
like fireflies, suspended in midair for all eternity.
Slowly, he turned.
“I hoped you’d be here,” he said. I stepped to his side,
taking in the scenery. We stood in silence.
He turned his head to face me, looking down into my eyes
with a sad smile. “I wanted you to see this, Scully.”
I took his hand and smiled back. He looked lost to me, so
unlike the man I’d known for all these years. I wondered
where he’d been, what had happened to him.
“I have to see you again, Mulder. I need to know you’re
alive.”
He shook his head slowly and looked away, focusing on the
lake once again. “You can’t. I’m sorry.” He turned to
leave, and my hands grasped the hem of his shirtsleeve.
“No one walks away here. You’ve brought me to you, haven’t
you?” He stared down at me and it almost frightened me,
the fierce intensity I saw there. But I was not shaken.
“Why?” I demanded. “Why are you doing this?” My voice
betrayed me, cracking as I whispered, “Are you trying to
make me crazy?”
He didn’t answer me, but instead leaned down to capture my
trembling lips in a feathery kiss, the first we’d ever
shared. I opened to him as his kiss deepened and I gasped
against the images that unfolded around me.
I could see myself though his eyes, standing on the
sandlot baseball game’s home plate near the Peacock farm.
I look incredible. None of the dozens of flaws I frown
daily at the mirror at can be found. The sun, creating a
fiery halo around my head and the brilliant blue of my
eyes – I barely recognized myself.
Then, on that rock in Heuvelman’s Lake with the moonlight
high above, spotlighting us and casting shadows all
around. My hair and eyes are dark in that light, tresses
waving from the lake water and berry-colored lips,
inviting. I never knew. To him, I was perfect. It was all
at once a heady and humbling feeling. It felt almost
undeserved.
He held me close to him as he nibbled at my bottom lip.
The scene that unfolded behind my closed eyes now was
different, dark. Mulder, walking up to the door of the
large estate. He knows he is expected, even though he
never announced his intent to visit. It is past midnight,
and he feels he’s safe because they will already have fed.
Like a badly spliced movie, the scene jerks to the next
morning. He’s lying in a bed of silk, staring up at the
colorful glass-domed ceiling. This is his room, at the
insistence of his dangerous host. Regret. He regrets being
here, coming without me.
This will be the death of him.
He knows his mistake, knows that, soon, his host will lose
interest in him. Then he’ll be killed. Sadness swirls
though him at this thought, these emotions he was
projecting into me. But he wasn’t upset for his life so
much as he feared never seeing me again.
When the kiss ended, our connection was broken. I pulled
back, looking at him questioningly.
“You didn’t know, Scully?”
I shook my head.
“I’ve loved you for years.”
He said it so simply, as if it were an obvious truth. I
grabbed his hand tightly, pleading with my eyes. “Please,
Mulder. Let me see you.”
He shook his head once again. “It’s not safe, Scully. You-
you don’t know what I’ve become.”
“I think I do.”
“No,” he said. “You can’t know.”
I smiled gently and laid a hand upon his cool skin. “Then
make me understand.”
I could sense the fear coursing through him. What had
happened that he was ashamed for me to find out? He
smoothed a stray strand of hair from my face and stared
deeply into my eyes.
He’s surrounded my men, dressed in black cloaks. Unsure of
what is to happen to him, he stands on guard, ready for
anything even as he knows his efforts are futile.
I have to close my eyes against what happens next.
A dark-haired man, in about his mid-twenties, comes into
view. His softly curling hair and sweet face are a
deception, for inside lies a monster. He stalks toward the
center of the semi-circle, to where Mulder stands.
Julian, the name breaks through the images.
He smiles and swoops on Mulder’s neck, just taking enough
of his blood to stun him before lowering him to the ground
and taking hold of Mulder’s wrist in a vice-like clamp.
Once satisfied, Julian offers his cut wrist in return.
Mulder is either too weak or too scared to refuse it and
he drinks deeply from the proffered gash.
The next thing is pain, blinding and white-hot. It
intensifies with every passing second before, finally, the
darkness overcomes him.
“What does this mean?”
“It’s exactly what it looks like, Scully. This is why I
don’t want you to find me.”
“A vampire,” I whispered, stunned and disbelieving.
He leaned down to give me a kiss on the forehead.
“Goodbye.”
And then, I was all alone.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Dana Scully’s Apartment
October 24, 1997
6:12 pm
I bolted upright in my chair.
All around me, papers were strewn, each one as meaningless
as the next. None of them; not even the rubbing, had been
helpful in the least. I had been studying them in hopes
that Mulder left some crumb to follow when I drifted off
at the kitchen table.
The clock read 6:13 pm.
These dreams were more than what they seemed. They had to
be some kind of shared consciousness between the two of
us.
I didn’t want it to be true. Because if it
meant that Mulder was lost to me forever.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
October 24, 1997
7:03 pm
The sunset has a certain pull to it.
Only we can feel the subtle turn of the Earth, carrying us
slowly away from the supernova. I can only describe it as
a small tug, like a June bug against a string held by a
child. It awakens us from our death-like slumber.
This night, I stood and slowly stretched my limbs out of
habit.
“You’ll want to abandon those sloppy human inclinations of
yours.” A lilting female voice rang out sweetly.
I spun around, only to come face to face with Liliana,
Julian’s sister. Like her ancient brother, Liliana was
possessed of great beauty and grace. Her nearly black hair
fell in soft ringlets to the middle of her back and her
wide, green eyes sparkled with mischief. She always looked
like she was ready to either laugh hysterically or pounce.
Considering her volatile temperament, it was anybody’s
guess which would come first.
“What are you doing here?” I demanded. “Did Julian send
you?”
Her laughter tinkled like broken glass. “Not at all,
dearest Fox.” She breathed my name and scratched a red-
tipped fingernail over my jaw line, bottom lip in full
pout. “I wanted only to warn you.”
Grabbing her hand and holding it away from me, I growled,
“Warn me about what?”
She snatched her hand out of my grasp and glared, her eyes
glowing bright in anger for an instant.
Just as quickly as it came, her fury left to be replaced
with the pout once more. “Fox,” she drawled coquettishly,
“Such atrocious behavior! And my whole purpose in coming
here was to make sure you steer clear of my brother.”
I’ve witnessed Liliana ravage the body of a helpless
teenage girl to the point where the blood sprayed like a
third-rate horror movie and I could no longer tell what
sex the victim was from all the pulpy gore. This was done
for her own pleasure. Before I was turned, I was brought
to witness the Convenire at work, so I knew that feeding
could be done delicately and with neatness. There was no
need for the savagery Liliana afforded that poor girl. The
likelihood that this beast was here to help me was slim to
none.
“I already know all I need to know about Julian and I’m
well aware of what he’s capable of. Now get out of here
and leave me in peace.”
Her voice was deadly calm. “You have a lot of nerve
talking to me with such disrespect, fledgling. Unlike
Julian, I do not find it amusing.”
She stalked closer, until we were mere inches apart.
“Things were fine until you came along. I liked it. I was
happy. You’re playing my brother like a fool, while all
the while your heart reaches out for another.”
She glowered into my eyes, pulling me down to her eye-
level with hooked hand around the back of my neck and
dropped her poison-saturated voice to a whisper.
“I could snap that pretty head of yours off your neck
without so much as batting an eyelash, you weak, pathetic
excuse for an apprentice. You forget that I was made
centuries before you were ever even born. Do not
underestimate me.”
She suddenly smiled warmly.
“But I think I may know a better way of getting rid of
you, dearest. That woman you crave; I can hear the two of
you in the daylight hours. I can see and hear and feel
everything you can. Didn’t know that, did you? I have only
to tell Julian now, at my pleasure.” Her voice dropped to
a confidential whisper. “That’ll be the end of you, my
love. Of course, I think I’d rather just make a feast of
that delightful morsel myself.”
I slammed her against the wall, full-force. “You stay away
from her,” I growled ferociously. “If you touch one hair
on her head, so help me I’ll kill you with my bare hands.”
That strange glow reflected my own in her eyes. “Kindly
take your hands off me.” She swatted the hands that
clutched the front of her dress with ease, anger boiling
in her black veins. “You’re lucky you belong to Julian. If
you were mine, I’d drain every ounce out of your
ungrateful carcass and leave you in the morning sun to
bake.”
Without another word, she vanished from my sight.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
October 26, 1997
9:37 am
The rest of the evening was wholly unproductive, as was
the next day. No new leads on Mulder’s disappearance and
Skinner sent me home once more, citing concern for my
health.
I looked horrible, I’m sure. And the confidentiality of
the case had been compromised, so I was getting more than
my fair share of curious stares in the hallways. Must’ve
been too juicy for the supposed professional agents to
keep to themselves.
I wanted to wring their necks. Every last one of them.
Grudgingly, I went home. The only stipulation was that I
was to be contacted the minute anything new developed on
the case.
I walked in the living room and fell instantly atop the
cushioned softness of the couch, feeling so tired and
emotionally drained. I’d been feeling a lot of that
lately. It was highly unusual for me to sleep this much,
but it felt as if I hadn’t slept in days.
My last waking thoughts were of Mulder.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
We had been dancing. That’s all I could remember.
He’d held me in his strong arms, stronger than I’ve ever
remembered them to be, and spun me around the living room
of a home I’ve never seen before. The old-fashioned
phonograph played Cheek To Cheek.
“Heaven, I’m in Heaven
And my heart beats so that I can hardly speak;
And I seem to find the happiness that I seek
When we’re out together dancing cheek to cheek”
I was peripherally aware of the antique furnishings all
around me, the feeling of being locked inside a Fred
Astaire and Ginger Rogers movie. The simplicity and
innocence of our waltz in those surroundings.
The rest was a complete blur.
It frightened me beyond reason that my strange connection
to him was faltering already. Yet, a new feeling was
taking hold of me, powerful and inexplicable. I felt drawn
toward something, knowing instinctively that I needed to
get out on the road.
I looked at the clock. In about thirty minutes, I was
expected in another pointless meeting regarding Mulder’s
disappearance more than seven days ago.
I would not be attending.
Shoving clothes into a suitcase, I paused my frantic
rushing about the apartment only long enough to inform
Kimberly that I wouldn’t be in for a few days. Her
understanding tone was so clear I could almost see the
sympathetic nod over the phone.
“This is why I don’t want you to find me.”
For hours, I drove aimlessly, completely unaware of my
surroundings or where I was going. I wandered in a daze,
hearing nothing but the beat of his heart, seeing nothing
but the unnatural green of his eyes.
He was guiding me to him, even as I knew he was unaware of
doing so. I could feel him all around me, beckoning to me.
The car drove me to my destination as if on autopilot and
after a while, I was no longer conscious of the passing
time.
There was nothing to do but wait. To see where this would
lead me.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
October 26, 1997
5:43 pm
She was close. I could sense it.
I smiled in my fitful sleep even as I cursed her for
putting herself in jeopardy to find me. Julian’s laughing
face loomed above me in my dreams, the only sanctuary
Scully and I shared now.
He would kill her.
Julian was profoundly jealous of anything that stood in
his way. I’d learned this much in my short time with him.
The moment I met this strange leader of the Convenire,
he’d been inside my head, taking obvious pleasure in his
intrusion. He recognized my feelings for Scully in a
second, all she meant to me and how much I needed her. And
he hated her instantly.
I feared for her life. Liliana wouldn’t do anything
regarding me without her brother’s consent, but Julian
himself was another story. He answered to no one. There
was nothing I could do against the vampire who made me,
the monster who’d given me a second life. He was stronger
than me, skilled in the art of the chase. He’s done it for
centuries.
Sunset would be soon. For the first time, I dreaded what
it would bring.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
October 26, 1997
7:36 pm
Funny, that I’d felt no fear.
Walking through lush and unfamiliar woods in the twilight
as all the nocturnal life of the land awakened. The cold
October wind whipped my hair around me whenever a gust
picked up. My cheeks, tingling from the brisk night air.
Beneath my feet, fallen brown leaves crunched in time with
the rhythm of my footfalls and the harvest moon shone
brightly above, lighting my way to I knew not where. It
was as if a strange entity had invaded my body, directing
me where to go and I, just the vessel to be maneuvered.
A house.
I walked inside, taking in the dusty and mildewed
furniture. A phonograph resting on the credenza scratched
out Billie Holiday, singing the blues. The fireplace
glowed bright and warm as the red-orange flames licked the
kindling. The room looked as if it hadn’t been touched
since the 1940’s and all around me, an eerie sense of
familiarity filled the air. This was the house in my
dreams.
My skin prickled into goose bumps when I shucked off my
coat and I edged cautiously to the hearth to warm my
frozen fingers.
I felt his arms wrap around me.
Eyes closed, I clutched a hand around the arm that pulled
me to him to steady myself.
“I told you not to come here.”
His voice was broken and hoarse. I’d never heard so much
pain in it.
“I had to, Mulder. How could I not?”
Slowly, he turned me to face him. I couldn’t help the gasp
that escaped my lips at the sight of him. “My God, you’re-
“
“Yes,” he interrupted.
I nodded once, eyes downcast. “I hoped it wasn’t true.”
He placed a finger under my chin and forced my gaze
upward. “Do you see me? Do you see what I’ve become?” His
voice was laced with pain and anger, and beneath it,
helplessness.
Hands cupping his cold face tenderly, I asked, “Mulder,
how?”
“I can show you, if that’s what you really want.”
I nodded and he pulled me to his chest. “Listen.”
The irregular beat of his heart slowed, as the room grew
darker and darker. I swayed on my unsteady legs and let
the strange rhythm envelop me.
Forcefully, an image came into clear view. It was the same
as before, only more detailed, layered with dimension.
* * *
“Fox,” Julian speaks softly and low, drawing out his name.
Mulder is numb with shock, unable to move. He feels like a
deer caught in the headlights of a Mack truck, and equally
as useless.
All around him, the black shrouded figures stand silent
and still, awaiting their leader’s command, curious to see
what his new apprentice was made of. These creatures
sicken Mulder. To him, they represent everything
despicable and foul in the world. Under their quiet
scrutiny, he knows what it is to be a lab rat, a specimen
to be studied.
He wants to run.
“Welcome,” Julian smiles, spreading his arms in a wide
gesture.
But Mulder’s not listening to him. His attention is drawn
to the one named Stephan. He is thinking about his latest
kill, earlier that night. Taking a cue from Bundy, he
posed as an injured student, hobbling pathetically on
crutches in order to gain a pretty coed’s trust. It was a
game he likes to play with his victims and completely
unnecessary.
She never saw it coming.
And neither will the next one. Stephan is impatient to get
this over with so he can feed again. Mulder looks at him
in disgust. The monster leers at him in response.
Julian does not miss this exchange. Kneeling by Mulder’s
side as he lies on the floor, still dizzy from the pain of
the change, Julian strokes his cheek.
“Come,” he says. Lifting Mulder to his feet, he is lead
into Julian’s perversely large bedroom, decorated in
Gothic Revival style. Mulder thinks wryly that it’s
clichéd and didn’t he see that same bed on Creature
Feature night last week?
Still weak, Mulder spreads out on the chaise and watches
Julian as he paces before him. The monster’s eyes never
leave his fledgling’s body, appreciating it and smiling as
he makes Mulder wait to hear what he has to say.
“There is much you’ll need to learn,” he finally says. “So
much you’ll come to find. I almost envy you, Fox.
Everything is fresh and new to you. You’re going to need
me.”
He takes a seat at the edge of the chaise. It is all
Mulder could do to keep from cringing.
“Do you find me so repulsive, Fox?” he coos. “You’ll come
to love me. I promise.”
It becomes clear to Mulder the reason why he knew how
Stephan chose to spend his evenings, why Julian is able to
understand Mulder’s reticence and revulsion – they share a
sort of telepathy.
“We can read minds?” Mulder asks.
Julian smiles. “Yes. But there are those who will be
closed to you. Ancient vampires, such as Maeve and
Liliana, have learned to put up a shield. And myself, as
your creator, will be closed to you as well. But humans,
Fox,” he smiles and pushes the lock of hair that has
fallen in a curl over Mulder’s forehead, “and the lesser
vampires will be as an open book. It will be like a
whisper, at first. A general idea of what they are
thinking. Then the Gift will grow in you. You will become
quicker, stronger. Nothing will stop you then.” Julian
beams in ghoulish pride.
He stands. “You will be my masterpiece. No one is to touch
you. You will be receiving tutelage from me alone.
Understand that the penalty for another of the Convenire
to school you in our ways is death.
“But come! Enough of all this talk. You must be famished.”
He’s suddenly gone, reappearing at the far closet. He
dashes in and when he reenters the room, a bound and
gagged young girl his in his strong grasp. Mulder bolts up
from his languid sprawling.
She’s small and delicate, about sixteen years old. Her
choppy, flipped bob and wide, china doll eyes make her
look pixyish and innocent. She squirms in vain against her
captor.
“Do you like her?” Julian teases. “I chose her
specifically for you, my Fox. She’ll be an excellent
first, no?”
“I- I can’t.” he stutters out his first words since the
change. Stronger, he tells him, “I won’t.”
Julian’s calm demeanor changes, eyes flashing and fangs
bared in a snarl of disapproval. “You won’t? You will. I
have brought her for you and you will drink from her!”
Mulder looks at her, at her bared throat and the veins
that pulse beneath her skin, at the fear in her innocent
eyes and the hunger and desire that well up inside him are
almost unbearable.
“Go to hell, you son of a bitch.” He says, breathlessly.
For a moment, Mulder is sure Julian is going to kill him.
The rage in his face is frightening and the girl in his
arm squirms, her screams muffled against the gag put there
to ensure Mulder’s gift was a surprise. Julian lunges at
Mulder, hissing angrily at him, then turns his fury on the
girl, latching viciously onto her neck. Within seconds,
she is nothing more than a rag doll, dropped irreverently
to the ground with a thud.
Then, all I can see is the blur of passing trees as he
runs from that place, runs from the girl he could not
save.
* * *
His thumb tenderly swiped at a tear on my cheek I hadn’t
felt fall. My heart was shattering into a million pieces
and all I could do was just stand there, willing the pool
that had gathered in my eyes not to spill over. It was
unbelievable that life could be so merciless and cruel.
“Shhh,” he soothed, pulling me into his embrace. “I’ll
work this out, Scully. Somehow.”
Pulling away to look at him, I said, “How, Mulder?” I
didn’t want the hopelessness I felt to seep into my voice,
but it did, and I saw him visibly flinch at my defeated
statement.
“They’ll know you’re here. Now that you’ve found me,
there’s nothing that will save you. You don’t know
Julian.” He spat the name. “He’ll kill you just to teach
me a lesson.”
“I won’t leave, Mulder.”
“You have to.”
Anger and resentment for the monster that did this to him
coursed through me. For the first time in my life, I felt
like I was capable of cold-blooded murder.
“And who’s to say that he won’t find me anyway, no matter
where I am? If I’m not safe now, I’ll never be safe.
Location doesn’t make a bit of difference.”
He stared into my eyes, as if searching for something
there. I felt so exposed, mesmerized by his beauty as I
was subjected to his scrutiny. The song on the record
changed and Billie’s honeyed voice belted out a melancholy
tune.
~ I’ve got a date with a dream
A dream divine
I’ve got a date with a dream
Who may be mine ~
“Dance with me,” he said quietly, eyes darkening.
“Yes,” I whispered
~ I’ve got to hurry and dress
To meet him at seven
When any old corner becomes a corner
Of heaven, blue heaven ~
The body beneath my hands felt hard, petrified. A
muscle twitched under his alabaster cheek as he gazed down
at me. We moved with a grace I never knew I could possess,
as if we’d been dancing together our entire lives.
Perhaps we had.
~ I’m gonna dance with a dream
We’ll dance on air
I’m gonna speak to a dream
And tell him I care ~
“Can’t we have this one night?”
I’ve never been so afraid to ask a question before in my
life, never so terrified to hear the answer.
His eyes closed and I knew he couldn’t deny me, deny us
this last moment together. Opening their jade beauty to
me, he whispered, “One night.”
Gazes locked until the last possible second, we slowly
gravitated toward one another’s mouth. Hungrily, he drank
me in, lifting me slightly from the floor to my tiptoes.
The pleasure of it shot straight to my belly, through my
limbs and up my spine.
~ And when the evening is over
I’ll kiss him goodnight and then
I’ll have a date with a dream
And meet him all over again ~
The song ended, to be replaced with another as we touched
and explored each other through our clothing. My body
hummed with anticipation and I greedily ground myself into
his groin, never breaking from the deep, endless kiss.
He pulled away abruptly.
“What’s the matter?” I asked, panicked.
Mulder turned sideways from me, hiding his face from my
sight. I realized his heavy, labored breathing was from
more than arousal.
“Mulder, look at me.”
He did. Slowly, ravenous green eyes settled on my neck.
“You have to leave, Scully.” He pleaded. “You’re not safe
with me.”
I shook my head. “No. I won’t leave you.”
He whimpered and I noticed for the first time how
expressive his eyes were now, so much more than before.
They held an incandescent glow when intense emotion
overpowered him, like now, when his passion got the better
of him and his hunger was vying for control over his
heart.
Understanding what he needed, I cupped his face in my
hands. “You could never hurt me, Mulder.” I tilted my neck
a bit, praying that he wouldn’t become angry with the
gesture. “Please.”
His horrified face spoke volumes, of his repulsion, of his
crumbling willpower. I was offering myself to him and he
wanted nothing more than to take me, but he couldn’t bear
the thought of drinking from me. I knew all this
implicitly, as if he’d spoken the words aloud.
“Please,” I repeated. “I want to do this. One night,
Mulder. One time.”
The hunger finally won out.
Slowly, he bent to lower his lips to caress my neck,
taking special care to tease and lick and tickle at the
sensitive nerve-endings there.
“Scully,” he murmured against my jugular. I wound my
fingers through his dark hair and gently urged him onward.
Instead of the searing pain I expected, I felt myself
being led to the fireplace and lowered onto the lush rug
that rested before it. Crackling and pleasantly warm, the
fire blazed on. In some corner of my mind, I wondered at
Mulder’s lack of interest in the source of his phobia.
Perhaps the change affected more than just his physical
being.
He sprinkled soundless kisses on my face, arms and neck,
setting my body ablaze with pure desire for this man, this
man who has had me under his spell for years.
“Oh, Scully. I’ve wanted you, too. For so long…”
I lifted my hips to grind against his, wantonly. “Can
you…” A little embarrassed, my words trailed off. He
smiled in response and used swift fingers to deftly
unbutton my shirt.
His open mouth descended on the exposed mounds of my
breasts above the delicate silk and lace of my bra and I
reflexively arched into his kiss.
“Mmm, Mulder.”
He continued to work at my breasts, nibbling though the
thin fabric of my bra, as he reached to undo my pants.
Kicking impatiently, I helped to squirm them down my legs,
discarded and forgotten under the spell of our first taste
of intimacy. It felt incredible, the weight of him above
me, the feeling of his hands all over me. I wanted to
possess and be possessed by him, exchanging this wonderful
gift until neither of us could move anymore.
Together, we made short work of his clothes as well. He
was unnaturally hard; something I sensed was an ongoing
thing and one that he couldn’t control. He backed away for
a moment, taking the sight of my naked and aroused body in
with ravenous eyes. He licked his lips, now a faint red,
and feasted on me with those glowing emerald orbs. I
shivered, to be looked at that way.
“Don’t be afraid.” He soothed, covering my body with his.
Before I could assure him that I wasn’t, he was licking
tenderly at my neck, rendering me speechless with
anticipation. We now lay together, bared skin to skin,
with nothing but my open shirt splayed around me between
us.
I wanted him now, couldn’t bear the thought of waiting
another minute. Without saying a word, he told me that he
understood.
I felt his hot breath on my tender neck and a sharp pain,
then nothing but pleasure as he simultaneously pierced and
entered me. I tasted pure, sweet bliss – so powerful, it
was like a resurrection. So gratifyingly sinful, it was
like flying. There are no words for the exquisite rapture
one feels when a vampire drinks from them. Couple this
with the knowledge that it was Mulder thrusting into me,
Mulder lapping at my life-force…
I was splitting apart and floating and tearing off into a
million different directions all at once. It was years of
foreplay, hundreds of climaxes all rolled into one
incredible moment of perfection. I didn’t care if I died,
just as long as I could feel that way forever.
When it became too dangerous, he stopped.
We both lay there, panting and weak from the exertion.
After a few moments, as my furiously beating heart slowed
to a normal rhythm, Mulder retrieved my trench coat to
cover me.
The most miraculous thing of all was falling asleep in his
arms.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
I watched her as she slept and the light from the fire
made the shadows of her eyelashes dance across her cheek.
She never looked more beautiful to me.
It was hard, so hard to be careful with her. Pulling away
from her was the most difficult thing I’d ever had to do.
This could never happen again – it was far too dangerous.
She shifted, exposing her creamy thigh as her bent leg
peeked into the cool air. I covered her, taking care to
tuck some of the coat beneath her. It was getting close to
dawn and I would have to retreat into my cellar once
again. She would be safe in the light of day and we could
say our final goodbyes tomorrow night.
I pushed the thought away, determined not to dwell on it
until the time came. I wanted to be selfish, to wake her
and tell her that I never wanted her to go. That maybe she
was right, that she would never be safe as long as Julian
still stalked the earth.
But I took one look at her angel-face and knew I couldn’t
do that to her.
Placing a reverent kiss on her forehead, I left her to
escape the fatal dawn.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Whether it was her nearness or the intimacy we’d shared,
there were no dreams of Scully that day.
Finally – mercifully – sunset arrived.
I rose from my fetal position on a blanket I’d placed on
the floor nights ago and raced up the stairs to see
Scully. My heart beat wildly in my hollow body, fearing
the possibility that she’d decided to make it all easier
for us by leaving while I rested.
I couldn’t sense her – that was what frightened me most of
all. Entering the front parlor where we’d passed the night
before, my stomach lurched to see her coat missing.
She wasn’t there.
“Are you looking for your pretty friend?” Julian’s jovial
voice inquired behind me.
I jumped in surprise and glowered at him. “What have you
done with her?”
“Come home, Fox. Your time here is up.”
I rushed him, grabbing at his shirt and striking him
against the wall time and again, but he was unmoved. If
anything, he looked amused. Unbridled fury and fear boiled
in my soul, spilling over into a blinding rage.
Julian laughed. “Stop this foolishness, Fox. She’s safe –
for now. Come home and we’ll see about letting you keep
her. She should make for excellent entertainment, no?”
“Fuck you,” I growled, letting go of his shirt.
He slid down the wall to his feet, eyes spitting emerald
fire at me.
“I’m reaching the end of my patience with you, my friend.
You will come home. And as for that pretty distraction of
yours – I will do with her what I wish. It is not for you
to challenge or make demands of me. Never forget that.”
He wrapped an arm around my waist against my weaker will
and we sped through the forest in a blur. He had
everything that was important to me in the palm of his
hand, prepared to either reward me for my obedience or
crush me for my insubordination. To keep her safe, I’d
have to play by their rules and even then there was no
guarantee.
Scully… What have I done?